Bettys Pies

Have you ever had the pies at Bettys Pies? They are the stuff of legend and if you ever find yourself in my neck of the woods, going there is a must.

Everyone knows that Betty has a secret recipe that she keeps closely and jealously guarded. The recipe isn’t just for the crust, either. Everything except the ice cream is home made, though that is another story altogether that I won’t get into now.

One bite is all you need to get hooked. It’s like a drug. I meant that figuratively because as far as I know she doesn’t add drugs to the pie.

Word is that Betty was about to open a chain restaurant a few years ago but at the last second she refused to cooperate and the deal fell through. Rumor is what caused the falling out was that she would be expected to share all her recipes.

Shame too, because I can guarantee that they would put any fast food company unfortunate to be in the same area as them out of business.

A lot of people will say that the pies are to die for. In fact, three years ago two men broke into the restaurant shortly after closing time in an attempt to force her to give up the recipe. This ended badly for them because little did they know she was packing some heat.

She emptied the magazine into both men and faced no legal consequences from it. After all they were there with guns (albeit toy guns, but they were painted black and looked real to the untrained eye) and were wearing masks.

According to the paramedics the last word the oldest of the two were “we just wanted to make some pie.”

Idiots, right? I can’t feel bad for some people. Especially when they die like morons.

That’s why I won’t be dying for the recipe. I’ll be wearing a vest and I’ll be packing some actual firepower when I storm in.

And when I get what I want, I’ll open my own chain of restaurants and rake in millions.

Wish me luck.